What NOT To Say To A Recent Grad

Unless this is the first time reading my blog, you already know I recently graduated from grad school and, like all grads, am looking for a job.  I also get ask a lot of the same questions over and over again and after the first 10 times, gets really repetitive so much so that I have essentially memorized responses to the questions.  So, if you come across someone in my position here are things that you should NOT say to them.

1. Have you found a job yet?

• More than likely, the answer is no.  Most grads are out of the job for more than a couple months after graduation.
• New grads have a disadvantage in their field: they don't have much experience outside of work study or internships they had during school.  Which means unless employers are specifically looking for new grads (or someone willing to work for less than the job normally pays) employers will lean towards someone with experience.  In fact, most jobs I've seen posted require 3 or  more years experience (which I have been convincing myself all the internships I had while in grad school count).
• The economy still sucks for a lot of fields grads have gone into.  This means more competition for jobs where grads are not only competing against each other, but also against veterans in the field (veterans meaning those with experience not an actual war veteran, though they can be looking for jobs as well).
• The EXCEPTION: if you are a professor, you are more than welcome to ask.  
• The exception to the exception: if you don't like the person or could care less what happens to the student afterwords.  Don't waste their time or yours.

2. Do you think you'll go back for a masters/PhD/MD/PharmD/flying unicorns?

• They just got out of school.  The last thing they want to really think about is applying to go back to school.  Plus if they wanted to do it, they would have already been accepted into a program.  If they were rejected, this is a sore subject because no one wants to say "I want to but I was rejected".
• Bonus advice: if they do say they were rejected DO NOT say "Well you can always try next year."  No really?  I thought it was a one time deal.  I still hate that people ask me if I'm going to try to get into pharmacy school again. I do not want to, I have no interest in it anymore, I'm already $80,000+ in debt let's not add another $100,000 to it please.  If you couldn't tell, this aggravates me.
• They probably have a lot of loans too that they won't want to add to for a while.
• The EXCEPTION: if you are in a position to and are willing to if asked, to write a letter of recommendation for said program.  So in other words, if you are the person's supervisor, professor, or colleague.

3. So how many jobs have you applied to?

• Apparently not enough to get hired is my typical response because the number of jobs you apply to doesn't really matter.  One could apply to 100 jobs and not even have one interview offer (spoiler alert: there may be something wrong with your resume or cover letter).  One can land a job at the first and only place they apply to as well.  In the end, you can only have one job-job.
• The EXCEPTION: if you are interviewing this person for a job.  True story, I've been asked at interviews.  I guess the nice professors can ask this too.

4. What was it exactly you went to school for? OR What kind of job can you get now?

• If you didn't know what the person went to school for: asking this question automatically forbids you from asking any subsequent questions.  Why?
• You don't know that much about them obviously.
• It becomes a game of 20 questions.
• The new grad has probably already played more rounds of 20 questions than they really want to at this point.
• It kind of makes the person feel bad that they went through all the work and graduated only to have the people they know have no clue what they were doing with their life for x number of years.  Makes you feel less important to know someone really didn't care to ask while you were in school.
• As for the what kind of job can you get?  One that is in the field that they studied (here's your sign).
• The EXCEPTION: you have alzheimer's.

5. What are you fellow classmates doing now?

• It doesn't matter what the field is that the person is in.  The answer is always the same: some people found jobs, some people are looking for jobs, some people moved back to their native country, some people went back to school for another degree.  Okay?  No one on the planet needs to ask this question anymore.  

There are some more questions but even though I'm off work for a week, I have a LOT going on.

What NOT To Say To Women Online

I made the realization today that I have not posted in over a week.  Partly because nothing too exciting has happened or has annoyed me enough to write a post about.  I haven't had time to go back for the second part of the museum review (hoping to do it next week I promise!).

I know something I can give advice about.  Online dating.  Yes, that.  For those who don't know, or haven't figured it out yet, I am a female.  Therefore online dating sites are a goldmine for me since 90% of those on the *free* dating sites (I don't know about the ones you have to pay for) are single, straight men.  Now, because of this large proportion of men, my profile tends to get a lot of views, and quickly as soon as a picture of me is up.  It also tends to get a lot of messages.  Now, I can by no means say this is true for every women but dudes: there are just some general things that will get you ignored very quickly.

Things NOT to say/do when messaging a woman online (Epilogical's view)

1. Lack of proper English/spelling/grammer.

If I had a nickel for every time a guy has said something along the lines of "Hey babe, wanna chat wit me?"....I don't think I would still be looking for a job right now.  No I don't "wanna" chat with you because you seemed to have failed 5th grade writing and therefore wouldn't be able to hold a decent conversation.  And when did I become your babe?  I know all of my exes will tell you that I hate that term so don't think that a complete stranger is going to get away with it.  I explicitly state in my profile that if people do say this, they will be ignored.

2. Lack of conversation.

"Hi" Ugh, I hate when I get messages like this.  First of all, this leads to a quickly dying conversation.  Being the sarcastic, semi annoyed person that I am, I will just say "Hi" back.  Ball's back in your court buddy, better come up with something better than that if you want my attention.

3. Commenting on my looks

While it is an ego boost to have a complete stranger tell me I'm pretty or beautiful, it also makes me roll my eyes.  Maybe it's because usually when a guy tells me that, it's because he wants something or he did something wrong.  Also, clearly you are just interested in me based on appearance and probably have not read my profile at all (hint: to weed out these people pose a question in your profile in an obvious spot and say you need to answer this question in a message to you.  Something stupid, mine's about mummies).  It's also cheesy.

4. Get pushy

This gets men blocked right away on my profile.  Do not try to push me for my number within 5 minutes of talking.  Not going to happen.  Why? Because I have never ever met you before and maybe I don't want constant texts/phone calls from you.  Especially before even meeting you because constantly bothering me makes me want to meet you less (true story).  If we have talked for a couple days online and make plans to meet each other, then yes, I have no problem giving you my number in case plans have to change.  If there are no potential plans: why do I want a phone buddy?  If you want to give me your number, that's totally fine.  If I want to call/text, then I will.  Don't then push me for my number.

5. Become a bother

If I don't respond to a message after failing to listen to number 4 above, do not continue to message me every day.  Chances are, I am fed up with you and have given you the label of clingy.  Instant block.

6.  The sex talk

Did I write in my profile I want casual sex?  No? Then don't ask me if that's what I want.  Period.

7.  Ask me if you're my type

How the hell am I supposed to know if I never even met you?  Usually, I don't even know if I like a guy or not until the 3rd or 4th date (exception: my last boyfriend, I knew I liked him on date number 1 immediately after he said Ca-nay-dia).


There is just some advice from things that have happened this week to me.  Fellow ladies: feel free to comment below on other annoyances.

What NOT To Say To A Vegetarian

The last what not to say blog post (of what not to say to your pharmacist) seemed to be a huge hit with individuals so I decided to continue to series.  This time, of what not to say to vegetarians.  Also, as a bonus: my answers.

1. Why did you decide to become a vegetarian?

• This question may seem reasonable and innocent but it actually can annoy us.  Why? Because it's asked by almost all non-vegetarians when they find out.  Plus, the fact that a person is a vegetarian usually gets brought up because everyone is trying to decide where to eat and we have to mention that tidbit so we don't end up eating rice at a steakhouse (this has happened to me on more than one occasion unfortunately).
• My answer: I don't why to tell the truth.  I was 12.  Though around that time I choked on roast beef in a crowded restaurant and NOBODY helped me (yes mom and dad, even you stood there staring).  I couldn't breathe and finally after 20 seconds reached down my throat to prevent an early death.  So maybe being traumatized had something to do with it.

2. Is your whole family vegetarian or just you?

• Does it matter?  If the person answered the first question with "I grew up as one" then that probably gives you the answer right there.  Also, this can be a touchy subject if the person's family gives them a hard time about being a vegetarian.
• My answer: Nope.  I'm the only one.

3. So do you still eat like, fish or eggs or nothing at all?

• Okay, vocabulary time.  When people hear the word vegetarian, what they actually think of is vegan.  A vegan is one that not only does not ingest any kind of animal products, but they also don't wear leather/fur/anything not man made.  A vegetarian is a little more lenient.  A strict vegetarian does not eat meat, fish, poultry, eggs, and for some, milk.  Some only avoid red meat.  Some don't eat chicken or meat.  Some like omelettes with their toast in the morning but milk is a no-no.  The term vegetarian offers a wide variety of diets to put it simply.
• My answer: I still eat eggs and use milk while cooking (though straight milk makes me sick so I use soymilk with my cereal).  I never really likes fish and I group chicken with meat.

4. That's stupid, why would you do that?

• Okay, seriously if you ever say this, be prepared to be punched.
• My answer: ::punches idiot::

5. Are you one of those "crazy vegetarians"?

• The answer will always be no.  Yes there are a few "crazy vegetarians" out there but you will figure out those ones right away, before even eating anything with them.
• Define "crazy."  Is it a strict vegetarian?  Or a person who doesn't like people eating meat around them?  Or someone who things meat is murder and will throw a tofu pie in your face in protest?
• My answer: No.  I am not a crazy vegetarian.  But my opinion of your intelligence has dropped after you asked.

6. Are you going to get mad if I eat meat in front of you?

• This may not be that bad of a question but, only if the person you are with is crazy.  Most vegetarians know that not everyone wants the same diet as them.  Most were eating meat at some point in their life.  If it's for religious reasons, if you are not the same religion, then no, they probably won't care as much.  If you have to ask then you probably shouldn't order red meat while with them.
• My answer: No, I do not care what you eat.  I'll even tell you your chicken smells good (because chicken does smell good to me).  It was my decision to be vegetarian and I'm not going to impose that on you just like you shouldn't impose your diet on me.

7. How do you stay healthy with no meat?

• Meat is not as healthy as one may think.  Also, it should not make up the largest proportion of your diet fyi.  There are plenty of other foods that provide much needed protein.
• My answer: Seriously, do NOT become a dietitian.

8. Don't you want to try this ::insert meat item here::?

• Do I even have to explain this one?
• My answer: Actually, typically I laugh if I know the person's joking.  But a warning: a lot of vegetarians may pretend to know and go along with your joking but will seriously take offense. 

Are you a vegetarian?  Have you ever said something to seriously tick a vegetarian off?  Share you experiences in the comments!  Also, don't forget you can follow me on twitter (Epilogical)