Hello readers! Unfortunately, I have been really busy and therefore have not been able to write anything new. But, while I have a few minutes, I'll let you know of the results of month #1 of the Amazing Loan Race. Unfortunately, I had $3000 in unexpected expenses this month and therefore could only put $100 towards my loan this month. Katie, was able to put over $900 this month towards her loan and therefore has won this month (I'll be the one to state this result since she's been sick this week and really hasn't blogged as a result).
So to give you an update about what's going on this month: I'm hopefully not going to have a lot of unexpected expenses this month (outside of Epa's procedure coming up next week) which I already kind of accounted for when making a low payment in for March.
In the meantime, I am also trying to finish two research projects I'm doing (outside of work that is) which both need to be done by late April so that adds a little stress.....Okay more than a little.
Also, my main job's contract is due to end April 30th. What does that mean? Well, there's a chance that it may be extended through June 30th but that's it. If it doesn't get extended, that essentially means that I will lose the majority of my income by not having the job. Therefore, to add to the stress already, I have to find a new job, preferably in Atlanta because I had to decide whether to renew my lease or not (since it's up in 2 months) and decided to just renew it. So if I get a job elsewhere and have to move, I have to notify the leasing office 60 days prior to moving AND get slapped with an extra fee equivalent to 2 months rent. So fingers crossed that I get a job here!
Time to go to work!
Friday, March 30, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Reptile Guy - Guest Post
Note: Since I have a lot on my plate to do the next week or so, I won't be able to post for a while. In the meantime, I have offered to a couple people to send guest posts. One is below from a guy who works with reptiles. Enjoy peeps! (Oh yeah, I don't know how to make the background color stay blue when I copy text from an email because there's no "paste text only" option so if anyone can enlighten me on that I would appreciate it)
I'm a Reptile Guy. At least, that's what people call me. I travel with a car load of reptiles to schools, events, parties, etc. and "edutain" (that's educate and entertain, in case you were wondering) people with my scaly friends. I have come away with some very interesting stories and I'd like to share a few with you. As with any critter, these guys don't like being crammed in their boxes or cages all day, so they tend to scratch on them all day. Most are small, but some can be quite large, and make a lot of noise. So when I hear them bumping around in the back of my SUV, I pay very little attention.
Well one day, while driving north on I-285, I heard the usual bumping and scratching I always do. So as usual I ignored it and kept driving. After a while, I felt something rub against the bottom of my left arm, I looked down and all I saw was my seat belt. "OK, no big deal," I thought, so I shook it out of my head and kept driving. Then I felt something against my leg. I was about to look down when I heard a glass *clink*. "Must be that empty Frappuccino bottle rolling around," I rationalized.
As traffic began to speed up, I went to press down on the accelerator but was met with resistance. I thought, "Could it be the bottle wedged underneath?" As I looked down, my eyes locked with another set of eyes staring up at me from between my legs, about 6 inches from my, um, well...my crotch. It was Spot, a nearly 5 foot long monitor lizard, and might I add, a MEAT-EATER! Well after screaming quite loudly and swerving across at least 3 lanes of traffic, I finally calmed down and realized what happened. He must have forced the lid off his cage and crawled out. Since I was running late due to traffic, I decided to let him be. As long as I knew he was out, all would be fine. At least until he decided to crawl into my lap and play lap dog. Which was also fine, or so I thought. He decided to prop himself up and look out my side window. I thought nothing of it until I saw the car next to me swerve across 3 lanes of traffic. The driver, a middle aged soccer mom, was obviously screaming, while her young son had her iPhone and was taking pictures. OF ME! I still to this day hope to find those pics on Facebook! I can only imagine the captions..."The day that lizards learned to drive and mommy nearly killed us!"
Not all of my stories involve my critters getting loose in my car. Another time, a few months later, I was in a nice families house performing for a large group at a birthday party. I was showing off Sierra, an Arizona Mountain King Snake. She is normally very docile, but on this day it was quite cold, so she was anxious to find a warm place. And then she found my shirt sleeve. Before I could react, she had completely gone up my sleeve, crawled down the inside of my shirt and wrapped around my mid section. This brought about uproars of laughter from the kids and parents. I tried to get her out, but it became apparent that the only way to get her out was to unbutton my shirt. Well as I began to do so, a mother who was running late for the party arrived and walked in on everybody cheering, me unbuttoning my shirt, and pulling a snake from out of it. She too began cheering, exclaimed "This is just like my bachelorette party!", and began pulling money from her purse. I didn't know whether to die of laughter or embarrassment...but she did give me a nice tip!
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Things That Annoy Me
Some updates before I forget:
1. I've added a gadget on the side that will let you receive an email about any blog updates (ie new posts). All you have to do is type in your email address, type in the right captcha (is that what it's called?) it gives you, and then click the confirmation link in the email it sends. Figure people would appreciate that as opposed to checking every few days. Plus, I have stopped posting every blog update on facebook for those who are my friends on there.
2. The Amazing Loan Race has begun, Katie and I have just not posted official start posts. She might later this month but I will keep you updated at the end of the month on how we are doing.
3. Epa is doing much better (she was the cat I had to take to the vet a couple days ago)
Okay, so now on with the actual post. I've made a list like this before and posted it online which was a huge hit for people (mainly those that know me). So, I thought I would update that list a little (it's a few years old) and post it here.
Things That Annoy Epilogical (in no particular order)
1. People who are surprised by the fact that I'm sarcastic and bitter
2. People who ask me if I'm okay and when I respond yes, they then ask me what's wrong.
What the heck people? If you thought something was wrong why did you even bother asking if I was okay in the first place. Just ask me "what's wrong" if my response to the first question is irrelevant.
3. People who can't park/refuse to park properly.
4. Strangers who stare as you drive by.
5. Microsoft
6. Christians who tell me I'm going to hell.
Well, if heaven only accepts snobby stuck-up I'm-better-than-the-world people like you, I prefer hell. It's more diverse
7. People who say "it makes you realize you could die at any moment"
Wait, you just realized this? Gee, I thought I could live for as long as I want despite any outside factors.
8. Men who ask if it's that time of the month when you yell at them.
9. Being followed when walking to my car (by someone looking for a parking spot).
10. Professors that tell you your freshmen year that you need to pick a career NOW because you already screwed yourself only to say later it's okay if you still don't know what you want to do.
Yes, I am STILL bitter about that.
11. People who ride your bumper in the right lane when the left lane is wide open for them.
12. Those extremely nice people who never stop smiling.
13. People who won't tell me how they really feel.
What I mean is that if I'm doing something that pisses you off, let me know. Don't be all shy and scared about it.
14. People bitching about showing IDs (required by federal law) to buy Sudafed products.
15. People who assume all vegetarians are crazy.
16. People my age who act like teenage girls. Get over yourselves.
17. The blantently obvious science errors shown in movies and tv shows.
Seriously? Open a high school science book people.
18. The two corner pins (bowling reference)
19. Leaving a solid 8 pin (another bowling reference)
20. People who park their cars in a manner that block the sidewalk.
21. Walmart.
22. People clearly in the way of others and still don't move.
Get your ass out of the middle of the stairs people. Next person who does that is getting shoved down the stairs and then laughed at.
23. People who give you an attitude for no reason.
24. People who don't say anything when you hold open the door for them (I know my mom agrees with this one).
25. Let's just shorten the list a bunch and say people in general.
26. Computers crashing.
27. Having to do new computer training modules for ::cough pharmacy I work at cough cough::
28. Damn PCI calls I have to do at work.
29. Lazy co-workers. I guess that is included under #25 but oh well, my list, my rules.
30. Telemarketer calls.
Holy crap. Today I received 6 sales calls on my home phone while I was at work. 4 were from the same place. And yes, I put my number on the DNC list. Next time I'm answering the phone and saying "law office of Mazer and Johnson what is your claim number?"
I have to interrupt this list for a moment to inform everyone I was just asked to take a 5 minute survey and it consisted of questions about pooping outside. Yes, my life is that random. Okay, now back to the list
31. The fact that it takes 15 minutes (or less) to fill a prescription, which is less time than you normally have to wait for a pizza to be made by the way, and people still complain.
Okay, clearly people in this country care more about the quality of their food than a properly filled medication. Which that would actually explain a lot come to think of it.
32. Taxes (still have to do mine and I am going to owe a lot)
33. Milk
34. Ignorance
1. I've added a gadget on the side that will let you receive an email about any blog updates (ie new posts). All you have to do is type in your email address, type in the right captcha (is that what it's called?) it gives you, and then click the confirmation link in the email it sends. Figure people would appreciate that as opposed to checking every few days. Plus, I have stopped posting every blog update on facebook for those who are my friends on there.
2. The Amazing Loan Race has begun, Katie and I have just not posted official start posts. She might later this month but I will keep you updated at the end of the month on how we are doing.
3. Epa is doing much better (she was the cat I had to take to the vet a couple days ago)
Okay, so now on with the actual post. I've made a list like this before and posted it online which was a huge hit for people (mainly those that know me). So, I thought I would update that list a little (it's a few years old) and post it here.
Things That Annoy Epilogical (in no particular order)
1. People who are surprised by the fact that I'm sarcastic and bitter
2. People who ask me if I'm okay and when I respond yes, they then ask me what's wrong.
What the heck people? If you thought something was wrong why did you even bother asking if I was okay in the first place. Just ask me "what's wrong" if my response to the first question is irrelevant.
3. People who can't park/refuse to park properly.
4. Strangers who stare as you drive by.
5. Microsoft
6. Christians who tell me I'm going to hell.
Well, if heaven only accepts snobby stuck-up I'm-better-than-the-world people like you, I prefer hell. It's more diverse
7. People who say "it makes you realize you could die at any moment"
Wait, you just realized this? Gee, I thought I could live for as long as I want despite any outside factors.
8. Men who ask if it's that time of the month when you yell at them.
9. Being followed when walking to my car (by someone looking for a parking spot).
10. Professors that tell you your freshmen year that you need to pick a career NOW because you already screwed yourself only to say later it's okay if you still don't know what you want to do.
Yes, I am STILL bitter about that.
11. People who ride your bumper in the right lane when the left lane is wide open for them.
12. Those extremely nice people who never stop smiling.
13. People who won't tell me how they really feel.
What I mean is that if I'm doing something that pisses you off, let me know. Don't be all shy and scared about it.
14. People bitching about showing IDs (required by federal law) to buy Sudafed products.
15. People who assume all vegetarians are crazy.
16. People my age who act like teenage girls. Get over yourselves.
17. The blantently obvious science errors shown in movies and tv shows.
Seriously? Open a high school science book people.
18. The two corner pins (bowling reference)
19. Leaving a solid 8 pin (another bowling reference)
20. People who park their cars in a manner that block the sidewalk.
21. Walmart.
22. People clearly in the way of others and still don't move.
Get your ass out of the middle of the stairs people. Next person who does that is getting shoved down the stairs and then laughed at.
23. People who give you an attitude for no reason.
24. People who don't say anything when you hold open the door for them (I know my mom agrees with this one).
25. Let's just shorten the list a bunch and say people in general.
26. Computers crashing.
27. Having to do new computer training modules for ::cough pharmacy I work at cough cough::
28. Damn PCI calls I have to do at work.
29. Lazy co-workers. I guess that is included under #25 but oh well, my list, my rules.
30. Telemarketer calls.
Holy crap. Today I received 6 sales calls on my home phone while I was at work. 4 were from the same place. And yes, I put my number on the DNC list. Next time I'm answering the phone and saying "law office of Mazer and Johnson what is your claim number?"
I have to interrupt this list for a moment to inform everyone I was just asked to take a 5 minute survey and it consisted of questions about pooping outside. Yes, my life is that random. Okay, now back to the list
31. The fact that it takes 15 minutes (or less) to fill a prescription, which is less time than you normally have to wait for a pizza to be made by the way, and people still complain.
Okay, clearly people in this country care more about the quality of their food than a properly filled medication. Which that would actually explain a lot come to think of it.
32. Taxes (still have to do mine and I am going to owe a lot)
33. Milk
34. Ignorance
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
The 5 Second Girl Dance
A centipede has inspired this post. But before I get into that, I would like to raise some awareness about animal abuse. Feel there is nothing you can do to help? You can help this victim through donations, or simply keep her in your thoughts.
Okay, now the post. I've been really busy so I haven't been able to write. I hope this one makes up for it.
A couple nights ago I was getting ready for bed and I turned towards the bedroom doorway and a spot on the wall right below the ceiling caught my eye. Actually, it was more than a spot, it was a 2 inch centipede. Just sitting there like it owned the world. Now, centipedes are my second most hated bugs to find in my apartment for two reasons:
1. They are fast and know how to get away quick.
2. I swear they have a 6th sense where they know something is about to go down.
So, here is the art form that is killing a bug (or if you prefer, catching it and scooting it's butt outside).
Initial Reaction
First, you do what someone I know has coined the "5 second girl dance" which doesn't necessarily last five seconds, nor is it a dance. It's that moment where you are thinking "Holy crap, there's a bug. Where is something I can use to kill it?" We all think it, don't lie to yourself and say you don't.
Time to Take Action
Now, centipedes are a special case. Because you know in the back of your mind that while you are going to get a paper towel/toilet paper/tissue to use to kill it that by the time you get back it will be gone. No other bug does this. Just them and it annoys the crap out of me. Luckily for me, my two cats are more than willing to keep an eye on an intruder while I get something to deal with it. So, I placed Epa on watch (ie, I picked her up, snapped my fingers in the direction of where the centipede was, and then put her down when she started to meow at it). I knew that I was covered. Unfortunately, the little creep was also right above my doorway, so walking back in created the paranoia that the thing would fall at the exact second I was under it. It didn't and in fact it didn't move at all. Hey, there are always centipede school drop outs that have failed to learn when to run. Survival of the fittest.
The Actual Event
Okay, let's stop my story right there and further assess the whole centipede killing event. If you are short like me and it's up high (like this one was) you will need to knock it down before you can kill it. That's easy enough with a broom. The next problem is finding it after you do this because like I said before, these things are fast. I mean, we would be too if we had 20 legs (and probably wouldn't need cars as much for travel when you think about it). So, you knock it down and by the occurrence of a miracle, see where it is. You then go to squish it. Two things can happen at this point: you either squish it as planned or you don't. The thing either manages to dodge your attack or, you think it's squished but when you start walking to flush the thing down the toilet, you see that it has broken free of your tissue grip and is starting to crawl towards your hand causing you to throw the tissue away from you. Either way, you now go into stealth mode and for the next 20 seconds, the sole purpose of you being alive is to find this thing and kill it. You have to, because you know the thing is pissed now and will probably come after you in your sleep if you don't find it.
In my case, I managed to be lucky this time and kill it the first time (and it helps that Epa will smack it around a couple times first).
The End?
Okay, so you have now successfully killed it or at least flushed it down the toilet (and by the way I find it hilarious when you flush a bug alive and as it's going down it always will grip the toilet paper. Evil I know but you know it entertains you too). Now the real paranoia comes and you wonder was it really dead? Or is it just waiting to climb back out of the toilet when you're not looking. So you flush again and check under the seat to make sure it is really gone and not just hiding.
The Cat's Plan of Attack
Sascode and Epa each have their own way of killing bugs that they find. Sascode goes in for the kill. He will raise his paw....move it slightly back and forth a few times and then.....BAM!!!! that thing is dead. Epa treats them like a new toy where she "gently" pushes them with her paw until they have died a slow, painful death. At which point, the pushes become less gentle as she tries to get the thing to move again. That's when I step in.
In other news, The Amazing Loan Race has officially begun this month. More on that later.
Okay, now the post. I've been really busy so I haven't been able to write. I hope this one makes up for it.
A couple nights ago I was getting ready for bed and I turned towards the bedroom doorway and a spot on the wall right below the ceiling caught my eye. Actually, it was more than a spot, it was a 2 inch centipede. Just sitting there like it owned the world. Now, centipedes are my second most hated bugs to find in my apartment for two reasons:
1. They are fast and know how to get away quick.
2. I swear they have a 6th sense where they know something is about to go down.
So, here is the art form that is killing a bug (or if you prefer, catching it and scooting it's butt outside).
Initial Reaction
First, you do what someone I know has coined the "5 second girl dance" which doesn't necessarily last five seconds, nor is it a dance. It's that moment where you are thinking "Holy crap, there's a bug. Where is something I can use to kill it?" We all think it, don't lie to yourself and say you don't.
Time to Take Action
Now, centipedes are a special case. Because you know in the back of your mind that while you are going to get a paper towel/toilet paper/tissue to use to kill it that by the time you get back it will be gone. No other bug does this. Just them and it annoys the crap out of me. Luckily for me, my two cats are more than willing to keep an eye on an intruder while I get something to deal with it. So, I placed Epa on watch (ie, I picked her up, snapped my fingers in the direction of where the centipede was, and then put her down when she started to meow at it). I knew that I was covered. Unfortunately, the little creep was also right above my doorway, so walking back in created the paranoia that the thing would fall at the exact second I was under it. It didn't and in fact it didn't move at all. Hey, there are always centipede school drop outs that have failed to learn when to run. Survival of the fittest.
The Actual Event
Okay, let's stop my story right there and further assess the whole centipede killing event. If you are short like me and it's up high (like this one was) you will need to knock it down before you can kill it. That's easy enough with a broom. The next problem is finding it after you do this because like I said before, these things are fast. I mean, we would be too if we had 20 legs (and probably wouldn't need cars as much for travel when you think about it). So, you knock it down and by the occurrence of a miracle, see where it is. You then go to squish it. Two things can happen at this point: you either squish it as planned or you don't. The thing either manages to dodge your attack or, you think it's squished but when you start walking to flush the thing down the toilet, you see that it has broken free of your tissue grip and is starting to crawl towards your hand causing you to throw the tissue away from you. Either way, you now go into stealth mode and for the next 20 seconds, the sole purpose of you being alive is to find this thing and kill it. You have to, because you know the thing is pissed now and will probably come after you in your sleep if you don't find it.
In my case, I managed to be lucky this time and kill it the first time (and it helps that Epa will smack it around a couple times first).
The End?
Okay, so you have now successfully killed it or at least flushed it down the toilet (and by the way I find it hilarious when you flush a bug alive and as it's going down it always will grip the toilet paper. Evil I know but you know it entertains you too). Now the real paranoia comes and you wonder was it really dead? Or is it just waiting to climb back out of the toilet when you're not looking. So you flush again and check under the seat to make sure it is really gone and not just hiding.
The Cat's Plan of Attack
Sascode and Epa each have their own way of killing bugs that they find. Sascode goes in for the kill. He will raise his paw....move it slightly back and forth a few times and then.....BAM!!!! that thing is dead. Epa treats them like a new toy where she "gently" pushes them with her paw until they have died a slow, painful death. At which point, the pushes become less gentle as she tries to get the thing to move again. That's when I step in.
In other news, The Amazing Loan Race has officially begun this month. More on that later.
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