What NOT To Say To A Recent Grad

Unless this is the first time reading my blog, you already know I recently graduated from grad school and, like all grads, am looking for a job.  I also get ask a lot of the same questions over and over again and after the first 10 times, gets really repetitive so much so that I have essentially memorized responses to the questions.  So, if you come across someone in my position here are things that you should NOT say to them.

1. Have you found a job yet?

• More than likely, the answer is no.  Most grads are out of the job for more than a couple months after graduation.
• New grads have a disadvantage in their field: they don't have much experience outside of work study or internships they had during school.  Which means unless employers are specifically looking for new grads (or someone willing to work for less than the job normally pays) employers will lean towards someone with experience.  In fact, most jobs I've seen posted require 3 or  more years experience (which I have been convincing myself all the internships I had while in grad school count).
• The economy still sucks for a lot of fields grads have gone into.  This means more competition for jobs where grads are not only competing against each other, but also against veterans in the field (veterans meaning those with experience not an actual war veteran, though they can be looking for jobs as well).
• The EXCEPTION: if you are a professor, you are more than welcome to ask.  
• The exception to the exception: if you don't like the person or could care less what happens to the student afterwords.  Don't waste their time or yours.

2. Do you think you'll go back for a masters/PhD/MD/PharmD/flying unicorns?

• They just got out of school.  The last thing they want to really think about is applying to go back to school.  Plus if they wanted to do it, they would have already been accepted into a program.  If they were rejected, this is a sore subject because no one wants to say "I want to but I was rejected".
• Bonus advice: if they do say they were rejected DO NOT say "Well you can always try next year."  No really?  I thought it was a one time deal.  I still hate that people ask me if I'm going to try to get into pharmacy school again. I do not want to, I have no interest in it anymore, I'm already $80,000+ in debt let's not add another $100,000 to it please.  If you couldn't tell, this aggravates me.
• They probably have a lot of loans too that they won't want to add to for a while.
• The EXCEPTION: if you are in a position to and are willing to if asked, to write a letter of recommendation for said program.  So in other words, if you are the person's supervisor, professor, or colleague.

3. So how many jobs have you applied to?

• Apparently not enough to get hired is my typical response because the number of jobs you apply to doesn't really matter.  One could apply to 100 jobs and not even have one interview offer (spoiler alert: there may be something wrong with your resume or cover letter).  One can land a job at the first and only place they apply to as well.  In the end, you can only have one job-job.
• The EXCEPTION: if you are interviewing this person for a job.  True story, I've been asked at interviews.  I guess the nice professors can ask this too.

4. What was it exactly you went to school for? OR What kind of job can you get now?

• If you didn't know what the person went to school for: asking this question automatically forbids you from asking any subsequent questions.  Why?
• You don't know that much about them obviously.
• It becomes a game of 20 questions.
• The new grad has probably already played more rounds of 20 questions than they really want to at this point.
• It kind of makes the person feel bad that they went through all the work and graduated only to have the people they know have no clue what they were doing with their life for x number of years.  Makes you feel less important to know someone really didn't care to ask while you were in school.
• As for the what kind of job can you get?  One that is in the field that they studied (here's your sign).
• The EXCEPTION: you have alzheimer's.

5. What are you fellow classmates doing now?

• It doesn't matter what the field is that the person is in.  The answer is always the same: some people found jobs, some people are looking for jobs, some people moved back to their native country, some people went back to school for another degree.  Okay?  No one on the planet needs to ask this question anymore.  

There are some more questions but even though I'm off work for a week, I have a LOT going on.

Furkids is Driven for a Cause - Guest Post

Normally, I don't post two entries in a single day but this means a lot to me personally.  Furkids (click the yellow word to view their website) is a cage-free, no-kill animal shelter located in Atlanta.  They also were the home to both of my cats before I became their mother.  Sascode, was there for 4 year since he was about 9 months old and Epa was there from one month of age to right after her first birthday (I literally adopted her a week after she turned one).

Right now they need your help!  And all it will take is a few seconds of your time (and is totally free!).  They are currently in a vote-based contest called Nalley Driven for a Cause (again you can click the link in yellow) in which the winning organization will win a vehicle.  The only catch is that you have to have a facebook account.  What you need to do is add the app to vote (by clicking on the link, you go to the main page.  To vote you click on the "vote here" button in red).  Think that one vote won't make a difference?  Wel, here's the great part: you can vote once....every 24 hours!  So if you vote starting today you can vote 7 times since the contest ends on June 30th.

Below is a message from Sam, the founder and director of Furkids for more information on how winning this will help Furkids.  Please, please, please help Furkids win this!!!! (As with the previous guest post, I have not changed anything written below)

Furkids is participating in the Nalley Driven for a Cause contest to win a new vehicle!

This has quickly become a very exciting and engaging contest - early vote totals for the top two organizations, both animal related, have already doubled the total of the first winner, and we still have 8 days to go!

What is Furkids and what is at stake? Furkids is Georgia's largest no-kill animal shelter - caring for over 600 cats and dogs on a daily basis - more than any other organization in the state or Southeast. We operate a shelter each for cats and dogs, nine full-time adoption centers with PETCO and PetSmart, a house for FIV+ cats and a network of foster homes. We recently celebrated our 10th anniversary and over 7,000 animals saved. We also operate a successful thrift store to benefit our shelter.

We are participants in a contest and because this contest at the moment is between two animal organizations, we believe this is a important opportunity for animal lovers to cast a vote that will have a measurable impact for MANY Dog Breeds and Cats across our state. There are too many animals, cats especially, being killed every day in our kill shelters. It is our obligation to be their voice and express that Furkids is the vote for the person that wants to see the kill numbers going down for Cats and Dogs. 

We need an additional vehicle to transport our dogs and cats to more adoption centers on Saturdays and Sundays so they can meet adopters - allowing us to go and pull more homeless animals out of kill shelters on their last day. We save over 1,000 animals a year. We want to save even more. This vehicle will be used with that mission in mind.

Please cast your vote for the group that will use this vehicle to save more Cats and Dogs. Period. We want to win for the 73 cats killed this week in Rome and the many dogs killed in Murray, and the 100+ cats sitting at Cobb Animal Control waiting to be saved. This is why Furkids is competing in Nalley Driven for a Cause.

Saving Money Roulette

So, as everyone knows, tomorrow is my last day at my main job and I don't have another one lined up yet.  I still have the second job at the pharmacy but it won't pay close to what I make now so money is going to be a little tight but hopefully, not for long.  I did the math and I can still afford rent, loan payments, bills, and have enough to feed myself and the cats.  Maybe even go out every once in a while.

Since I found a pre-approved mortgage estimator online, I decided to see if, with the realistic salary I'll be earning once I get an actual job, I will be able to afford that condo I saw online that I wanted (or one just like it in that area.  Turns out with my monthly student loan payments, I won't (I included the graduate loan in the estimation which makes a total of $1000 a month in loan payments for both loans).  So I decided I better start trying to find ways to save money now so I can get a hefty down payment.

Anyways, I really don't watch that much cable anymore and what I do watch is on a station that airs all their shows online within two days.  Since a lot of the time I don't watch the show right away anyways, it's usually already online before I switch on my DVR.  I signed up for Netflix as well and surprise, all the shows are also on there (one season behind which is fine because there is soo much I need to catch up on anyways).  I called my cable/phone/internet company to drop my cable to save some money each month.  After listening to and going through the whole spiel of "let's see if there is a cheaper package I can give you and still keep the cable" and upon finding out that I did in fact, have the cheapest one, he finally felt defeated and went through the procedure to cancel my cable.

The conversation went something like this:

Him: Okay, all I have to do is click this button and you're cable will be turned off.
Me: Okay.
Him: Are you sure you want me to hit the button?
Me: Yes.
Him: Once I click it, I can't go back.
Me: Okay then.
Him: Okay I'm going to click it now....
Me: Click it.

Epilogical knows how to play chicken.  Just like that, my cable is off.  My bill will now be about $80 less each month (because you get a discount when you have all three phone, internet and cable, so I lost the discount).  But still, that's (subtracting the $8 cost of Netflix)  $72 a month or $864 a year that I'm saving.  That savings will be going towards the condo downtown that I want to buy.

I get to play phone number roulette though now because apparently when you drop your cable, that also means your phone number changes.  Which they didn't tell me and I had to find out from a third party.  And now I have to wait a couple days in order to get my old number back.  Which is funny that they can mistakenly change it in an instant but takes time to get the old one back.

Anyways, the phone number thing had me thinking.  As part of the bundle deal, my phone had unlimited local and unlimited long distance calling.  Unbundled, this comes out to a hefty monthly fee.  Since I have a cellphone with free long distance, and most of my long distance calls are to my parents I decided I could do without.  So I decided to call again today to get their unlimited local plan that charges 5 cents a minute for long distance calls.  Not sure how much my bill drops now, I didn't ask but I should be getting a bill in the next week or so.  I'm guessing between dropping the various things, I will be saving at least $1000 a year now.

The Art of Deciding Where to Move

The job search is in full force.  My resume is out to various places, I've added a new round to the cover letter roulette, and I've been tapping into people I've networked with to keep and open eye (or ear) for openings where they are.

At first, I mainly applied for jobs back home and where I currently live.  There are a few reasons why I have focused in these two areas, which I probably don't have to really explain as they apply to almost everyone applying for jobs.

• The areas are familiar to me ie. I know where things are.
• There are people I know in these areas.
• Moving (or not if I stay here) would be easier than moving anywhere else.
• Going to job interviews is a lot easier.

Now, I'm starting to branch out and apply to other places, even some overseas.  At first I thought of it as a last resort.  However, the more I thought about it, moving to a whole new city or country even, may be easier than I originally thought.

For one thing, I have no family of my own.  I don't have anyone who would have to move with me.  Therefore, it would just be me (and the cats) moving and we can go wherever I so please.  Though if I was to move overseas, \my parents agreed that the cats can bunk with them.

Also, I already gone through the hardest part of relocating when I moved here for school.  It was the first time not only to move to a new town, but also the first time moving out of my parent's house.  If I move again (especially if it's closer to my hometown), I know it won't be as hard as the first time.  Unless it's overseas, but that has it's own difficulties.

With that being said, it would be exciting to move to a whole new area.  Especially if the area offers a lot for someone my age like my current city.


I know I'm going to hear about this from my mother after she reads this but there is actually a disadvantage to moving back home if it comes down to a job here or a job back home.  I have set up my adult life here.  It's my first time not living at home, I have made a decent amount of friends here, this city is the hub for my field (my hometown is on the list of top dying cities and very little in terms of jobs for someone like me), and I have finally been able to have time to explore different areas and attractions in this city.


However, with my current main job ending on Friday, at this point, whichever place hires this awesome candidate is going to have the pleasure of having me for a resident.

The Art of Kind People

They say nothing is free.  You also never expect a surprise because by definition, a surprise is unexpected.

I had two surprising things happen this week.  First, a dear friend of mine and I were going to go out to dinner last THursday in order to celebrate the recent letters added after my name (ie. a new degree).  Well, this sweet and totally awesome friend decided to surprise me by also inviting four others I'm friends with from the place we volunteer at to come and celebrate with us.  Lovely surprise, great dinner.

The second surprise happened just a few hours ago.  For those who have been following along, you know that my full-time job ends in a week.  So today, after working a morning shift and doing some much needed errands, I decided to relax by the pool for a little bit and then go out to dinner.  I decided to go to Mirko Pasta (see my review from a few months ago for more details on that place).  I went by myself with isn't unusual (they're really fast there so it isn't long before I'm eating.  Well, I asked the waitress for a to go box.  When she came back she said "I know this is going to sound weird but you're meal is already paid for.  A gentleman took care of it."  She didn't know who but said she was going to find out for me.

I of course, looked around the restaurant to try to figure out who it was.  I started by looking for someone I knew (a friend, colleague, former classmate, or even a professor).  Nope, did not know anyone there.  Then, I started looking for a man sitting alone.  No luck, I was the only one there alone actually.  I looked around again for someone looking at me giving away their anonymity.  No one.  I gave up.

Shortly, a gentleman around the age of 50 made eye contact with me for a few seconds.  After he and his wife left, his waitress came over to me and told me that he had asked her "Is that girl eating alone?"  She had responded with "Yes." He then told her "I'm going to pay for her meal.  She looks like a really nice person.  Just don't tell my wife."  Who by the way, must've temporarily left the table when the conversation took place.

The mystery was solved.  That is the first time a complete stranger had bought my dinner for me.  It wasn't much, couldn't have been more than around $15.  But it was a real surprise. He didn't know I was losing my major source of income after next week.  He also didn't know I earned my degree a month ago and celebrating it just occurred finally on Thursday.  He didn't know about my cousin's death a few days after graduation or that my most recent relationship ended a few days after the funeral (that was a really hard week to get through between both of those).  He doesn't know about the amount in student loans I have is more than the condo I really want right now that's downtown (finding a job-job first though, then I can get a condo)  He certainly didn't know that I was going to blog about it.  He just knew me as the girl eating alone who smiled and was very polite to her waitress just like I only know him as the kind gentleman who paid for a stranger's meal.

So, there are things in life that are free.  True friends who will surprise you is one.  Kindness towards others is another.  I will remember that gentleman and his kind gesture when I am older and see a young girl sitting by herself in a restaurant.

Bug of the Month Club

I moved into my current apartment just under a year ago.  What I didn't know when I moved in, was that this apartment had an active subscription to the Bug of the Month Club.  Never heard of it?  Don't worry, I made it up, as far as I know.  Why do I think this?

Welcome Neighbor
A little over a month after I moved in, I started seeing this black spiders throughout my apartment.  They were in all different areas.  I found one above my fridge, a few in my guest bedroom, a few in my room (on under my pillow in the morning yikes!).  So, I called the leasing office to get pest control to come spray.  Because I don't like spiders.  Remember how I said that centipedes are my second most hated bug to kill?  Well, spiders are number one.  I hate spiders.  I don't care how good they are for the environment, as soon as I find them in my apartment, they got to go.  If they are outside, I leave them but inside, no.

Anyways, pest control did come.  I even stayed home from work that day so I could watch the cats and have the guy spray in every room.  After that, I went to my nearest hardware store and they recommended some spray I could use along the windows and entryways to prevent more from coming in.  My obsessive compulsive paranoia paid off.  I didn't see any more of those black spiders during the rest of the summer.


Mind If We Join You?
So, the spiders were gone.  This was good.  My subscription apparently had expired.  Or maybe spiders were a free trial for an upgrade for the Bug of the Month Club.  My next entertainment was ants.  Not the huge carpenter ants we had back home, these were small black ones.  Which the ants back home is a really entertaining story, by the way, on how we found out how they were getting into the house.  It involves beer, a tree, phone wires, and a party.  There were no trees, phone wires, or a party when I found the ants in my apartment though.  I did consume a few beers though because, well, I'm me.  Anyways.  I noticed a few ants in my bathroom, specifically around my tub.  It had been raining pretty heavy the few days prior to this discovery so I just assumed they were coming in for shelter and would go away because this actually happened one time in my old apartment.

Well, a few days later 5 ants turned into 10 ants.  And then 15 ants.  I didn't know where the heck they were coming from.  I just knew they were getting their friends and having a party. I went back to the hardware store and got some bait traps, the kind where there is borax mixed in with the solution so they take it back to the nest and hopefully eventually kills the queen (yes, I did become an ant expert during this ordeal).  Anyways, with this stuff, it actually attracts more ants before eventually killing them all.  So I was able to find out where they were coming from.  There is a gap between my water faucet in the tub and the wall.  That was their entry point. Eventually, their numbers were diminishing.  Then, the worst happened.  It rained again outside.  Guess what?  They had more friends.  All of the sudden the number of ants coming for the bait was at a max.  Eventually I decided to do a mass murder while taking a shower and remove the baits.  I blocked off their entry point by putting plumbers putty around the faucet.  Pretty soon no ants remained in the bathroom.  I thought I was in the clear.

My handiwork

Oh nay nay.  One day, I opened my laundry closet and found a swarm of ants in there.  The reason?  Sascode didn't eat one of his treats that was still in his carrier (I use this area for storage because I don't have a washer or dryer).  I cleaned up the room and the ants went away again (and I plugged up their entry point I love plumbers putty now!).  Well, a few days later they were back.  I called up the leasing office and pest control came again.  After a couple more requests, I finally got someone to come and professionally fill in the gaps along the walls where they were coming in. So, ants = gone.


How About Some of Us?
For the next few months, I had a few visitors.  Silverfish (small gray centipedes are how I think of them) occasionally pop up. Those, I don't mind actually and if they're too high, I just leave them because they probably like ants and spiders.  I had two centipedes total, one Epa killed for me.  The most annoying one was a cockroach that I literally watched come into the apartment from a gap between the wall (see a pattern here?) and the hose you hook up a dryer too.  That could not be plugged with plumbers putty.  Tape did a good job though.

Another job by Epilogical

Free Upgrade Again

The past month, the spiders came back.  This time at least they stayed in one area.  The dining area.  Guess what?  I had pest control come and spray in the dining and living room area.  Have seen a few since then but not on a regular basis.

I'm hoping the Bug of the Month Club has is only a year's subscription because I'm getting sick of it.  My motto is "if you don't pay rent, you got to go."  The cats and I are also on a don't ask don't tell agreement.  I don't ask what they find when I'm not looking, and they don't tell me.

What NOT To Say To Women Online

I made the realization today that I have not posted in over a week.  Partly because nothing too exciting has happened or has annoyed me enough to write a post about.  I haven't had time to go back for the second part of the museum review (hoping to do it next week I promise!).

I know something I can give advice about.  Online dating.  Yes, that.  For those who don't know, or haven't figured it out yet, I am a female.  Therefore online dating sites are a goldmine for me since 90% of those on the *free* dating sites (I don't know about the ones you have to pay for) are single, straight men.  Now, because of this large proportion of men, my profile tends to get a lot of views, and quickly as soon as a picture of me is up.  It also tends to get a lot of messages.  Now, I can by no means say this is true for every women but dudes: there are just some general things that will get you ignored very quickly.

Things NOT to say/do when messaging a woman online (Epilogical's view)

1. Lack of proper English/spelling/grammer.

If I had a nickel for every time a guy has said something along the lines of "Hey babe, wanna chat wit me?"....I don't think I would still be looking for a job right now.  No I don't "wanna" chat with you because you seemed to have failed 5th grade writing and therefore wouldn't be able to hold a decent conversation.  And when did I become your babe?  I know all of my exes will tell you that I hate that term so don't think that a complete stranger is going to get away with it.  I explicitly state in my profile that if people do say this, they will be ignored.

2. Lack of conversation.

"Hi" Ugh, I hate when I get messages like this.  First of all, this leads to a quickly dying conversation.  Being the sarcastic, semi annoyed person that I am, I will just say "Hi" back.  Ball's back in your court buddy, better come up with something better than that if you want my attention.

3. Commenting on my looks

While it is an ego boost to have a complete stranger tell me I'm pretty or beautiful, it also makes me roll my eyes.  Maybe it's because usually when a guy tells me that, it's because he wants something or he did something wrong.  Also, clearly you are just interested in me based on appearance and probably have not read my profile at all (hint: to weed out these people pose a question in your profile in an obvious spot and say you need to answer this question in a message to you.  Something stupid, mine's about mummies).  It's also cheesy.

4. Get pushy

This gets men blocked right away on my profile.  Do not try to push me for my number within 5 minutes of talking.  Not going to happen.  Why? Because I have never ever met you before and maybe I don't want constant texts/phone calls from you.  Especially before even meeting you because constantly bothering me makes me want to meet you less (true story).  If we have talked for a couple days online and make plans to meet each other, then yes, I have no problem giving you my number in case plans have to change.  If there are no potential plans: why do I want a phone buddy?  If you want to give me your number, that's totally fine.  If I want to call/text, then I will.  Don't then push me for my number.

5. Become a bother

If I don't respond to a message after failing to listen to number 4 above, do not continue to message me every day.  Chances are, I am fed up with you and have given you the label of clingy.  Instant block.

6.  The sex talk

Did I write in my profile I want casual sex?  No? Then don't ask me if that's what I want.  Period.

7.  Ask me if you're my type

How the hell am I supposed to know if I never even met you?  Usually, I don't even know if I like a guy or not until the 3rd or 4th date (exception: my last boyfriend, I knew I liked him on date number 1 immediately after he said Ca-nay-dia).


There is just some advice from things that have happened this week to me.  Fellow ladies: feel free to comment below on other annoyances.