The 5 Second Girl Dance

A centipede has inspired this post.  But before I get into that, I would like to raise some awareness about animal abuse.  Feel there is nothing you can do to help?  You can help this victim through donations, or simply keep her in your thoughts.

Okay, now the post.  I've been really busy so I haven't been able to write.  I hope this one makes up for it.

A couple nights ago I was getting ready for bed and I turned towards the bedroom doorway and a spot on the wall right below the ceiling caught my eye.  Actually, it was more than a spot, it was a 2 inch centipede.  Just sitting there like it owned the world.  Now, centipedes are my second most hated bugs to find in my apartment for two reasons:
1. They are fast and know how to get away quick.
2. I swear they have a 6th sense where they know something is about to go down.

So, here is the art form that is killing a bug (or if you prefer, catching it and scooting it's butt outside).

Initial Reaction
First, you do what someone I know has coined the "5 second girl dance" which doesn't necessarily last five seconds, nor is it a dance.  It's that moment where you are thinking "Holy crap, there's a bug.  Where is something I can use to kill it?"  We all think it, don't lie to yourself and say you don't.

Time to Take Action
Now, centipedes are a special case.  Because you know in the back of your mind that while you are going to get a paper towel/toilet paper/tissue to use to kill it that by the time you get back it will be gone.  No other bug does this.  Just them and it annoys the crap out of me.  Luckily for me, my two cats are more than willing to keep an eye on an intruder while I get something to deal with it.  So, I placed Epa on watch (ie, I picked her up, snapped my fingers in the direction of where the centipede was, and then put her down when she started to meow at it).  I knew that I was covered.  Unfortunately, the little creep was also right above my doorway, so walking back in created the paranoia that the thing would fall at the exact second I was under it. It didn't and in fact it didn't move at all.  Hey, there are always centipede school drop outs that have failed to learn when to run.  Survival of the fittest.

The Actual Event
Okay, let's stop my story right there and further assess the whole centipede killing event.  If you are short like me and it's up high (like this one was) you will need to knock it down before you can kill it.  That's easy enough with a broom.  The next problem is finding it after you do this because like I said before, these things are fast.  I mean, we would be too if we had 20 legs (and probably wouldn't need cars as much for travel when you think about it).  So, you knock it down and by the occurrence of a miracle, see where it is.  You then go to squish it.  Two things can happen at this point: you either squish it as planned or you don't.  The thing either manages to dodge your attack or, you think it's squished but when you start walking to flush the thing down the toilet, you see that it has broken free of your tissue grip and is starting to crawl towards your hand causing you to throw the tissue away from you.  Either way, you now go into stealth mode and for the next 20 seconds, the sole purpose of you being alive is to find this thing and kill it.  You have to, because you know the thing is pissed now and will probably come after you in your sleep if you don't find it.

In my case, I managed to be lucky this time and kill it the first time (and it helps that Epa will smack it around a couple times first).

The End?
Okay, so you have now successfully killed it or at least flushed it down the toilet (and by the way I find it hilarious when you flush a bug alive and as it's going down it always will grip the toilet paper.  Evil I know but you know it entertains you too).  Now the real paranoia comes and you wonder was it really dead?  Or is it just waiting to climb back out of the toilet when you're not looking.  So you flush again and check under the seat to make sure it is really gone and not just hiding.

The Cat's Plan of Attack
Sascode and Epa each have their own way of killing bugs that they find.  Sascode goes in for the kill.  He will raise his paw....move it slightly back and forth a few times and then.....BAM!!!! that thing is dead.  Epa treats them like a new toy where she "gently" pushes them with her paw until they have died a slow, painful death.  At which point, the pushes become less gentle as she tries to get the thing to move again.  That's when I step in.


In other news, The Amazing Loan Race has officially begun this month.  More on that later.